How Politics, Racism and Facebook Ended My 16-Year Friendship

facebook-racism

This Christmas I will not be speaking to my friend of 16 years.  Why???  Well after years of reading his Facebook posts I slowly and painfully discovered that my white friend was a racist. Initially I tried to ignore it but as an African American man I could no longer stomach his increasingly toxic, race fueled comments that were initially veiled as just boisterous, conservative rhetoric. After debating him online for years over politics, race and social topics I finally had an epiphany. I could no longer excuse “Adam” by brushing him off as being a hyper-conservative republican. His truth was undeniable. However, I chose not to confront Adam about it, instead I quietly un-friended him on Facebook. Weeks later he confronted me and unloaded a barrage of online insults accusing me of being the actual racist and a “radical” for calling out discrimination, something I’ve aggressively done for years on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and on my personal blog/website.

Initially I blamed Facebook and the bold frontier of social media, a place where like-minded individuals are able to find strength in numbers in pack like mentality as the source of Adam’s racism.  But after deeper reflection I believe it is the rising public influence of social media combined with an unconscious internal racial/class angst within Adam and many other white Americans that has now spewed to the surface with the election and re-election of the nation’s first Black President, Barack Obama.

Our Friendship
handshake

Adam and I are about two years or so apart in age, both from the state of Alabama, both attended The University of Alabama although we didn’t know each other in college.  Four years later we bumped into each other in Atlanta where we both worked for the same company.  We vaguely recognized each other, discovered our mutual roots, college friends and quickly bonded as friends ourselves.  Oddly, our racial differences didn’t seem to matter especially since we both hailed from a state richly steeped in a tradition of hatred, slavery, Jim Crow segregation and racial discrimination.

Our twenties quickly turned into our thirties as we both chased our careers crisscrossing the nation with eight moves and five cities between us but we always stayed in touch. I remember once when I was going through financial challenges in Los Angeles, Adam gave me a financial gift to keep me going.  So we weren’t just causal buddies, we were genuine friends.

The Change Began in 2008

2009 Armed Forces Inaugural Committee

It was the election of America’s first Black President that was the initial trigger.  Adam’s criticism of the President, the economy and its sluggish growth, high unemployment along with his 2012 staunch support of Mitt Romney for president and his criticism of Obamacare is what blew open the divide between us.   Although these online conflicts are common between social media users and their “friends,” our conflict was much different and far deeper.

We weren’t just men hiding behind computer screens and mouse pads.  We were real life friends who shared secrets, hosted each other in our homes, supported, advised and even prayed for one another.  Now we were at odds with each other via social media and it was about to get much worse. As the great recession lingered, Adam became unemployed for a long time and felt significant angst about his place in the world and ability to sustain himself. He increasingly blamed Pres. Obama for not fixing the economy fast enough.  Meanwhile I was forced to completely abandon my media consulting small business in order to run back to a corporate 9-5 job when my client base dried up.  But instead of blaming Pres. Obama I blamed his predecessor Pres. George W. Bush along with the Republican led filibustering within the US Senate which blocked crucial jobs bills which would have grown the economy faster.  So our initial online clashes were over who really was to blame for our forced and dramatic career changes and life shifting situations.

By 2012 Adam was unabashedly lifting talking points from far right leaning FOX News network and spewing them across his Facebook feed without an ounce of criticism towards his own Republican party for its constant obstructionism, filibustering of key legislation and judicial nominations along with its gerrymandering of voting districts to seize control of the House of Representatives. He never addressed the conservative led 36 state Voter-ID “suppression” efforts which sought to reduce early voting, the number of hours to vote, plus stopped voter registration drives and blocked students at private historically black colleges and other universities from voting in the states where they attended school.

We soon became caricatures or perhaps archetypes of Facebook.  He was now a reliably grouchy Republican poster child stating how he wanted his country as he posted a picture of how red America’s voting districts really were but how we have a Democratic President and controlled Senate.  And I would fly in on his Facebook posts like a true blue Liberal Superman countering that much of the red on his voting map represented land based districts and NOT people filled districts not to mention the epic 2010 republican gerrymandered districts on federal and state levels. He soon started to attack immigrants and specifically Latinos when he posted how it felt being a white minority living in certain parts of Los Angeles and seeking out other white people.

But then it really got ugly!! In another post he tried to bash current day immigrants stating how his family migrated to America several generations ago and became productive citizens and that he demanded better from others in “my” country today. I angrily countered that my family had been in this country far longer than his since my descendants came on the slave ship Clotilde which docked in Mobile, AL in 1859. I informed him that Blacks have been in America since the 1600s in Jamestown, VA as slaves and that America really wasn’t “his” country but that he and his family were the true immigrants in America.In another Facebook rant Adam went after the poor chastising them for having too many children and for being on welfare, forgetting that he too was unemployed for a very long time and needed assistance. He also went after a women’s right-to-choose and gays with same-sex marriage stating there were far more important issues to tackle.True to red-state formation, Adam embraced only fiscal issues, rejected social justice topics and the hyphenation of America and instead longed for an era in which white straight men ruled America; an era which Adam never lived however generations later he unknowingly reaped the benefits of it through his white privilege.

Similarly I never lived in an era where blacks were captive to slavery and segregationist Jim Crow laws but I still felt the disadvantages and hurdles growing up and becoming an African American man trying to understand why it seemed so much harder for me to succeed even though I tried, worked and networked three times harder as my white counterparts both in business and within the workplace.Adam and I both felt internal angst about America and achieving the American dream but in two very different directions.  While Adam’s angst and path is often sympathized, even lauded at times, my angst and path is often discounted, demonized and scoffed as being simply excuses.

Were we really ever friends???

Adam and I represent a microcosm of American society and its growing chasm and obsession with race and class.  It’s a battle between a dying demographic (white conservatives) versus a young, growing, dynamic, multi-ethnic, multi-racial demographic which when combined with women, gays, elderly and the poor are finally having their issues and voices heard and addressed.

There’s a belief by the former group that somehow they are losing something when other groups gain their rights or have their grievances addressed.  They fear they might be retaliated against once all avenues of politics, business and social dealings are no longer brokered by themselves.  It is a fear I believe is striking at the center of Adam’s heart.

Today neither one of us is swayed by the other’s arguments and we exist as polar opposites in the world. So is our 16 year friendship worth saving? The answer for me  this Christmas is I’m not so sure.

HerndonDavisHerndon L. Davis is a former media activist turned corporate schmuck .  He can be reached at herndondavis@aol.com and at www.youtube.com/HLDATL.

Article originally posted on: http://herndondavis.blogspot.com

Scandal And The Problem With The Invisible (Black) Man

Photo Credit: Hollywood Reporter
Photo Credit: Hollywood Reporter

“Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination—indeed, everything and anything except me.” ― Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

“I’m standing right here,” Harrison said last week, demanding to be acknowledged as Abbey and David have a quite intimate sexual conversation in his presence. But his words are quite symbolic of his position during the three seasons of Scandal, ABC’s hit one-hour drama. Ten episodes into the season, hope for Harrison to step out of the shadows is fleeting. Instead, he appears to be fading away, like an invisible man.

Known for his episode defining one-liners like, “We are gladiators in suits,” more than his own storyline, Harrison is the most stagnant character of all . The fans have long noticed, but there were recent signs of life. After a two-season drought of absolutely NOTHING to add a layer to his back-story or current love life, season three has stalled on its promise to deliver. So far, we’ve got an exchange of threats between Cyrus and Harrison, a shirtless scene with a little inappropriate bedside manner and even less context; then there is that 30 second scene when a woman we’ve never seen walks in Olivia Pope’s office, tells Harrison to keep his phone on, and walks out. That’s it…since September!

He is quickly becoming a nobody; a one-dimensional, lackluster dolphins in a sea of sharks who often looks confused and out of place. Everything seems to just be happening around him. Once, a powerful presence, his character is quickly fading into the background. This troubles me even more because he is a Black man. While I maintain that Shonda has the most diverse cast in primetime television, I have always struggled with the representations of Black men on this show (for the sake of keeping this conversation focused, I won’t mention the challenges I have with the struggling character development of Black men on Private Practice and Grey’s Anatomy).

Before quickly dismissing me as a “hater,” stop early. I am a fan of the show. And I hear you fellow Gladiators when you say, “But Alexandria, what about that life-giving monologue delivered during the finale by Olivia’s father, a Black man, to Fitz??” Yes Lord! That scene gave me chills and the writing was brilliant! Yes, of course I saw the socio-historical reference of this older Black man calling this white man in a position of power a boy. But before I could fall too far in love, that same man had been fired, humiliated, and professionally castrated by the very man he just declared was beneath his pay grade, having his words served back to him cold: “If you cut off the head, another one will grow in its place.” So, you’ll have to forgive me if I want something more.

Eventually, I hope, in true Shonda fashion, that some great storyline will come from the depths of TV writing heaven, swoop down and take us all away to glory, making this all worth the wait. With such a long awaited faction of the show, they have no other choice but to do Harrison justice. The question is, for the love of gladiators everywhere, WHEN??

Why does any of this matter? Because I sat and watched a two-week mid-season Winter Finale twist and turn around almost every single character ripe with a spousal murder, a hostile take-over, and a double cross 3 episodes in the making. But, no Harrison. Not one thing.

There is something left to be desired by his absented presence and it needs to be addressed. Here are three reasons why:

*Harrison Is A Good Man (we hope!)
Compared to the other male characters on the show, Harrison is a prince among men. He is not a lying, backstabbing politician. He is not a manipulative Washington puppeteer sleeping with anything in a skirt. And he hasn’t killed anybody…yet. From what we’ve seen, he is dedicated, loyal, and a strong, trustworthy ally to Liv and her crew. Plus, as one of only four Black characters, three of which are Black men, Harrison needs much more context than he currently has because he’s been there from the beginning.

In season two, we were introduced to two other Black male characters significant to Olivia’s life. First, politician and love interest, Senator Edison Davis was presented as handsome, sweet, and well, let’s face it, weak. Yes, weak. Not an episode went by where Twitter and Facebook were not blowing up behind how docile he seemed to be, and how he was just no match for the powerhouse of Olivia. No chemistry or comparison to the passion and intensity of her former elicit romance with President Fitzgerald. Even though Edison is supposed to be a Senator, he seemed to be unable to do anything for (or with) Olivia.

The second man, we only knew in brief, yet chilling, cameo appearances until we discovered that he was head of B6-13. Oh yeah, and by the way, he is Olivia’s father. Commander Rowan “Eli” Pope is deliberate, calculating, manipulative, and vicious. The more we learn about him, it’s clearer how dangerous he really is. And after the way he read Fitz while he sat cuffed in a torture room, it is clear that he is not to be underestimated. The Sappy Senator and Daddy Pope provide two far-reaching extremes of masculinity and behavior that play right into typical archetypes of Black men: aggressive and violent or inadequate and feeble. Thus far, Harrison sits somewhere between the weak and the wicked. Adding some layers to his story may provide a much-needed opportunity for the show to see a powerful, complicated, yet compassionate man of Harrison’s class and swag.

*Harrison is the only one WITHOUT a story!
With very little present and even less of a past, how can we expect to believe Harrison as a Gladiator in a suit? We can’t, especially when every other leading character has evolved in some meaningful way. The longer that this is the case, Harrison will be confined to a one-liner sidekick.

In fact, we rarely even see Harrison outside of the work he does with the team. What is he doing when Huck is at AA meetings with Quinn sneaking closely behind? Or when Abby is sneaking off to have an affair with nemesis David Rosen? We pretty much only see him on the job. Far be if from me to complain about watching Columbus Short stand back looking handsome in a suit. However, in seasons one and two, every leading character experienced a major change, contributing to the storyline of Scandal, and complicating the game all the more. This of course is with the exception of our dear Harrison.

Think about it. Quinn has an incredible back-story that led the first season to a confusing, yet exciting cliffhanger. Now, she is in some crazy double-cross set-up, sleeping with the enemy! Then, there is our loveable assassin. #whatthehuck was trending everywhere! We learned more about his previous life then we ever thought possible. Now, in every new episode, Huck is the central connection to black ops org B6-13. We even see reporter James Novak shift in his family and career goals as husband to the sinister Chief of Staff, Cyrus Beene. And the lovable, yet elusive all American hero, Jake shocked us all with that stealth move at the end of last week’s episode. But when will the crumbs that were left behind thus far lead us home to Harrison?

*Harrison is Becoming Irrelevant.
Without his own story, Harrison’s authority is diminished. Right now, his presence and his contributions to the story are irrelevant. We need Harrison to be fully human; to have a life, a family, or a love interest; anything that makes him a whole person. We are rooting for him to win!

Despite the slow progression, there has been a slight arc to Harrison’s character. In the midst of assassin Huck’s breakdown, we see Harrison step up to be Olivia’s head partner at “the firm.” It is thrilling to see him leading client meetings, giving tactical orders to the team, and rallying them together in Olivia’s absence. However, I can’t help but feel his power is underscored by his insistence on being there time and time again as the strong second-in-command when Olivia’s gut is off, wrong, or broken. In more than one episode, Harrison volunteers, in true gladiator fashion, to lay down his life for her, assuring her that he will do what ever it takes to help her figure it out. On multiple occasions, their encounter looks like this: Olivia stares blankly at her foot solider, often refusing to answer his questions, and coldly walks out of the room without an explanation, literally ignoring him. #whattheharrison!

Without a story of his own, Harrison is a sidekick, just a simple accessory to go with Olivia’s fabulous wardrobe. My hope for Harrison is what gladiator’s everywhere are waiting for. Harrison’s time has come, and before Season 3 is done, we better get it!

alexAlexandra Barabin is a writer, public speaker, and cultural facilitator. She is the Founder of Sun Up Business Management and www.YesSheIsMe.com, a community dedicated to women and girls. She can be contacted at SunUpSays@gmail.com.

The Disappearing Black Man on HBCU Campuses

Black students in classroom

The influence of HBCU’s and education can be seen in the 105 historically black colleges and universities educating 135,722 male and 238,685 female students across the United States this year alone. A new school year is beginning for HBCU’s, students are preparing to return to schools  across our nation. Students and their families are shopping, packing and scheduling for college or university trips to HBCU campuses either close to home or several hundred miles away. The traveling may be by bus, plane, family car, train, carpooling or other means, the objective is to get students back into school, preparing them for future careers. I have prepared to make sure my son gets back to Florida A&M University to finish his final undergraduate year and preparing him for Graduate school of his choice.

HBCU’s have been preparing for new freshmen and returning students, the process to prepare dorms, cafeterias and other facilities to support higher educational learning is nearing completion. The excitement is rising for a year of educational achievement, progressively striving for the goals of graduating and receiving a degree that was earned with hard work, sacrifice and dedication.
The history of HBCU’s is well known nationally and internationally, the service of Historically Black Colleges and Universities is not praised as much as they should be, this is excepted because HBCU graduates know they receive an education that has prepared them for excellence in their fields of study and passion to positively contribute to mankind like so many from the past.

A growing issue on campuses of HBCU’s are increasing female students. Visually there are more females than men. It is almost eerie to see so many female students and a small mixture of male students. Not only are there smaller numbers of male students, but male students are not graduating in the numbers like female students. To add insult to these academic injuries male students seem to be challenged academically more than females in the important areas of math and reading comprehension. HBCU’s see that Black male students are diminishing , this absence creates a vacuum of educated professional Black men serving as role models to Black males in high schools that strive to obtain higher education, but do not have a mentor or role model in their families or even neighborhoods.
The U.S. Department of Education: the national college graduation rate for Black men is 33.1 percent compared with 44.8 percent for Black women. The total graduation rate is 57.3 percent. Black men represent 7.9 percent of 18 to 24 year olds in America but only 2.8 percent of undergraduates at universities. President Obama has stated that, “HBCUs continue a proud tradition as vibrant centers of intellectual inquiry and engines of scientific discovery and innovation. New waves of students, faculty, and alumni are building on their rich legacies and helping America achieve our goal of once again leading the world in having the highest proportion of college graduates by 2020.”
http://www.ed.gov/edblogs/whhbcu/

The question is raised are communities, schools, churches and businesses doing enough to encourage Black males to excel in academics? The school closures in Philadelphia, Chicago, Detroit and other cities show that educational resources are diminishing and parents in these communities need support and help. Condemning Black children also are weak Black Churches, what are Black churches doing, what impact does the clergy have in the 21st century educational realm and politics? At one time in history Black churches were the corner stone’s of education, they had schools, tutors and resources.

The discrepancies of attendance and graduation can be seen from data accumulated from the Department of Education where national college graduation rates of Hispanic men is 41.1 percent, Native Americans and Alaska natives 33.8 percent. The comparison in graduation to White males is 54.5 percent. Asian/Pacific Islanders have the highest rate, 60.6 percent, based on their cultural respect for learning and education. If theses discrepancies continue the education gap for Black males will create situations where Black males have less earning. The skill levels will be substantially low not allowing access to higher paying careers, lack of education influences political influence, low socio-economic levels and the in-ability to provide for a family. Because of statistical evidence HBCU’s still play a very vital role in educating Black males especially those that will need additional assistance in reading, literacy, comprehension and mathematics.

An example of the changes in college campuses can be seen at Howard University, undergraduate male enrollment dropped from 3,070 in the 1994-95 academic years to 2,499 during 2009-10. Female enrollment dropped by only 52 students, from 4,958  to 4,906. HBCU’s are still strong in encouraging Black males to attend college by providing services that address both academic and cultural uniqueness.

Complicating these efforts in high schools are the changes in the structure for mandated state assessments, increase in discipline policies at high schools that leave no room for counseling and mentoring. Incarceration policies appear to be the only option if a student makes a bad call in judgment and actions in high school. The key to success of Black male and female students is parental and community involvement. Parents must have a vested interest in their children’s success. The costs of not having a college education is seen in limited job opportunities, reduced earning potential, stunted career  advancement and negative long-term economic and social downturns in the Black community.

Black males need solid careers with competitive wages, without solid incomes and steady careers,
young Black males chances for success diminish greatly. A question asked by Mr.  Lowe from Courageous Conversations Ask A Teacher: “Why are certain elements in American society trying to keep Black children from being educated?” As a graduate of South Carolina State University,  in the area of education I learned the skills to be an effective educator, the support that I received even struggling in math and science allowed me to build  my confidence, abilities and even grow a love for science and mathematics. Inspiring me to obtain years later a Masters of Education degree in Educational Technology and teaching Engineering and
Technology at the elementary level.

“Black men and women need college degrees more than ever.” William Jackson, STEAM Educator Resources should be made available to help Black males be successful in higher education, but starts in public education at elementary schools to high schools. The lack of male role models, mentors and educators does play a role in diminishing enrollment of Black males in higher education. Research on Black males on campuses shows that having supportive relationships with mentors on campus plays a significant and important role in Black male’s success.

Parents as you take your children to college and university take the time to find out about mentoring services, clubs and organizations that can aid in your child’s success in college.  It takes a village to raise leaders and the next generation of college graduates.  The statement “Its more than about buying new clothes,” is important for parents to recognize and understand this school year, Hafeeza B Majeed

Courageous Conversations Ask A Teacher Dialogue:  Listen in about key issues to help students succeed and parents take a more active role. Archived about Common Core, parental involvement and impact on children: http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=44200137

Blacks Can’t Wait On the President

Photo Credit:
Change.org

Where do we go after the second election of President Barack Obama?

I want it to be known, that I’m proud to have Barack Obama as the President of the United States of America. I’m proud of his ability to lead and to be a role model. That being said, Blacks Cannot Wait on President Obama to make things better for them. President Obama has written another historic chapter in American history. The shift of cultural acceptance has happened in the political spectrum of this country. The people have spoken by their votes. This will be the second term for President Obama’s administration and his family.

It should be known that even though America still has a Black President the House of Representatives and Congress may still be controlled by Republicans. This will make another four (4) years a challenge to make continued progressive change in our country. The reality is there is still prejudice and racism in America, not in the gross levels that the news media attempts to show. If racism was so bad I do not believe that President Obama would be our President for another four years, voting creates change. This shows that even the media must be scrutinized for their political views and the influence they try to generate in society.

My direction in the blog is: Where do Blacks go from here? Where do Blacks go, what direction economically, educationally and politically should be traveled? Blacks have the best role model that they could have, a Black President and truly unmistakably a Black First Lady in Michelle Obama. The most powerful Black man in the Free world, the Commander in Chief of the most technologically sophisticated and weaponized military in the world. He is a product of the educational system of the United States, struggled in school, was bullied, and not the best student all the time. He shares this with other students as he speaks at schools around the country, and takes the time to build students up to see their potential to become greater than he.

This is the ultimate role model, one who acknowledges his flaws and weaknesses and always works to pull the youth up to pass his accomplishments in the future. So why are too many Blacks still caught in mental and emotional slavery claiming there are no good role models? Even Jacksonville, Florida has a great role model in Mayor Alvin Brown; he is visible in the community, supportive of public education and sets a good example as a father, husband, community activist and supporter of progressive growth for all people, but Blacks should see him as a guide to the importance of education and self-improvement.

Similar actions and events took place in1964, Cleveland OH in a different venue, but with the same challenges for Blacks. What has happened to The Negro Revolt and Where Do We Go From Here? or What Next? This was stated by Malcolm X, the same person who went through a transformation from thug, hustler, drug dealer, gambler and other societal deviations to a man that educated himself, became a father, leader and role model.

Don’t look down on this man, because some of our politicians, priests, preachers, bishops and even educators have past lives that may remain hidden from us. Malcolm X statement that, “In my little humble way of understanding it, it points toward either the ballot or the bullet.” This reference is addressing the political situation of Blacks during the turbulent times of the sixties and seems to be present in the 21st century. What has changed?

During the sixties there was no Barack Obama making eloquent, intellectual and moving speeches there was Adam Clayton Powell Minister Abyssinian Baptist Church in New York, Dr. Martin Luther King, Atlanta, Georgia, Asa Philip Randolph, Jacksonville, Florida, Civil Rights Activist, Rutledge Pearson, Jacksonville, Florida Civil Rights Activist and Reverend Galamison Minister in New York to name a few involved in the school boycotts to eliminate segregated education. These were real people with dedication and a vision to make progressive change to benefit Blacks. Their legacy will live, but too many Blacks have forgotten them.

There have always been role models for Black men and women, but truth be told Blacks must take responsibility and accountability to make progressive change by unifying. Making a commitment that needs to last beyond street protests, religious radicalism, songs, dance, videos, raps and pledges.

The commitment that lasts beyond the doors of churches on Sunday mornings designed to make Blacks “feel good” and accept their plight of second class citizens, diminishing political power, and dwindling economic development. Where do Blacks go now that the jubilation and excitement is over? The time to work is now, the time to establish a vision and mission is now. Civic and community problems still are alive and well, in order to solve these challenges it will take the collective wills and hard work that was found during the 50’s to 80’s. That self-determination seems to have died; evaporated even as the lyrics of “We Shall Over Come” have evaporated from the minds of millions of Blacks because of their perceived freedoms that are as transparent as their abilities to seek to improve themselves. How can a people that died for the right to be educated look down and curse education?

Satisfied in too many cases to live month to month on welfare, food stamps and a third class education. Complaining because they are so use to getting a third class handout that their cries seem to sound like the cries of slaves that accepted their servitude with exuberance and satisfaction. The comments by Malcolm X rings truthful even in the 21st century, “it’s time for us to submerge our differences and realize that it is best for us to first see that we have the same problem, a common problem, a problem that will make you catch hell.” So called Black political leaders complain, blame, degrade and demean President Obama, but my question is after all these years, why have THEY not motivated Blacks to improve their lives instead of blaming President Obama? Why are they not visiting inner city schools, homeless shelters, welfare lines, food stamp facilities to work to give a hand up not lip service and empty promises?

How can our religious leaders lay claim to being like Jesus or disciples when they tear down President Obama, lyrically damning him just as Judas Iscariot sold out Jesus for 30 pieces of gold? President Obama is not Jesus, but he represents our country to the world. He should be respected, held accountable, but not openly disrespected. Why wait for a Black man that is supposed to be the President of the United States, not the President of just Blacks. Many people will disagree with me, but that is the beauty of living in the nation of freedoms, we can agree to disagree and not be jailed, beaten or killed like in other countries.

I agree that President Obama must be held accountable, but he cannot cure all the social ills that plague Blacks. Just as our economy was destroyed by someone else, Blacks have allowed themselves to be castrated physically, psychologically, economically and educationally by blaming others for their inaction, inattention, and ignorance. If you do not believe me, look at our inactive parents that refuse to come to parent-teacher conferences, look at the lack of support for school PTO’s, School Advisory Councils that need parents to participate and support, and listen to the excuses that drown out the cries of screaming babies as girls lay on their backs and make babies, but refuse to respect teachers and learn to read to improve their lives first before spreading their legs to become impregnated and again spreading the same legs to give birth to illegitimate children. Don’t be mad at me for the truth, what would Dr. King say now???

The cycle continues each generation, becoming a slave to welfare and drowning deeper in Hellfare and poverty. Too many Black boys would rather rap, dance, be comedians and sag than engage in learning. They bully their peers that want to be intellectuals, scholars, scientists, educators, politicians. Too many Black young men would rather be hard and ignorant instead of educated and empowered. Anthony Butler, Jr, Founder of E3 Business Group displays a unique change during his transformation in his unique presentation that shows how you can grow from thug to entrepreneurial. This empowering presentation should be seen by all Black youth, “Accuse Yourself of Success!” http://e3businessgroup.com/

Malcolm X made a profound statement that we all catch hell, ”whether you’re educated or illiterate, whether you live on the boulevard or in the alley, you’re going to catch hell.”
“We’re all in the same boat and we all are going to catch the same hell.” The idea is
“If we have differences, let us differ in the closet; when we come out in front, let us not have anything to argue about until we finish making progressive and lasting changes in Black people.

It should not take the death of Trayvon Martin or any more young Black men or women to unify people against injustices in the criminal system and self hatred in our communities. It should not take the threat of cutting welfare, diminishing of food stamps and elimination of governmental handouts for Blacks to finally get they need EDUCATION, Are Blacks like the Hebrews wondering the desert until several generations die before God can use them? IS that to be our legacy for the next centuries?

Blacks Can’t Wait On the President: The President has made numerous speeches to what end?
Blacks have to WANT to change, WANT to work to be better, WANT to have political and economic equality. Until then Blacks will be politically, economically and educationally weak and ignored. Blaming others even those they elect to fix social challenges that are decades old.

Change can only come from within, when Blacks are tired of being beaten into economic slavery of poverty, the slavery of psychological ignorance of accepting failure in schools, enjoying the self destruction of drugs in their communities, the visual slavery of music videos that glorify free sex, cultural violence, the slavery of producing children that are born into ignorance and taught ignorance, will learn ignorance and stay ignorant until they are jailed or killed and companies make money from them as incarcerated slaves… If you are angry good, go out and volunteer at a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, the library to teach people to read. Go to your child’s school and support teachers not curse them out for trying to teach your child. Tutor and mentor a young person, take yourself back to school for a skill or a degree. If you cannot do these simple things to better a better person then you are always a part of the problem and not part of the solution.

The institution of slavery is still present and strong, but instead of the fields there is Hellfare, Drugfare, Sexfare, and denial ending in death and destruction.

Blacks Can’t Wait On The President

William Jackson, M.Ed.
Educator, Speaker,
Mentor, Father
Community Activist

No One Should Make You Vote

No One Should Make You Vote by William D. Jackson

Photo Credit: georgiaencyclopedia.org

No One Should Make You Vote

Through the course of history Black people have fought for the right to be treated and respected as citizens of a country they were forced to travel to on slave ships that crossed the Atlantic Ocean.
The numbers of Blacks that did not survive have been long forgotten and dismissed by generations of Blacks that think just because they make a little money, drive some kind of car, work on a job,but still are Just Over Broke can take voting as a event that can be discounted, overlooked or even forgotten. The evidence of non-participants in voting can be seen in the data that is kept. A record that shows there are still Blacks that either do not care for the sacrifices of others to allow them to been seen as a resemblance to equality or they are just ignorant and still lost on mental slave ships waiting to be mercifully sunken to save their lives.

Yes, this last election brought about a reality in the power of voting, but statistically Blacks still
need to grow in their political awareness and participation.Too many Blacks have forgotten the struggles, sacrifices and deaths to be granted the opportunity to vote. In the early 1960’s a Civil Rights struggle started; The right to vote. This was not easily earned, Blacks were not respected enough to be freely given this right. Blacks had to protest, fight (legally), seek legal means, demonstrate, were jailed willingly and unwillingly, some gave the ultimate sacrifice of their lives, women, children and men died for the right to vote.

The murder of voting-rights activists in Philadelphia, Mississippi, gained national attention along with other murders, lynching’s and brutal violence that made the United States Government take action.
President Johnson, at that time, signed the resulting legislation into law on August 6, 1965. Section
2 of the Act, which followed the language of the 15th amendment, applied a nationwide prohibition
against the denial or abridgment of the right to vote on the literacy tests on a nationwide basis.
Black at that time were given an unfair test to see their “worthiness” even to vote. Even if they did
pass the test many were still denied the right to vote in many cases. Does this sound familiar even
in the 21st century?? In the 21st century if there was a nationwide literacy test in order to vote, graduate from high school, be employed or even have children, if this were the law how many Blacks would fail??
The reality is there are tests, but based on other criteria that seem to grow each year, Blacks still
fail to see the writing on the wall hidden under governmental programs, incentives, and special
programs.

Don’t question my rights to ask as a teacher over 20 years, mentor and involved in my community, I
put my mouth were my actions state, but too few Blacks do not want to get their hands dirty to
work with our children and involved in their communities.

This proves several important things, 1. Education and the ability to read will always be important
2. It is sad that in the 21st century still too many Blacks are not literate enough to read a voting ballot.
3. Some Blacks still don’t get it, the right to vote can be slowly and systematically taken away or denied.
4. If incarcerated in any way this can keep them from voting.
5. Voting rights can be re-established even after a felony conviction, but they must be demanded and not allow threats to work.

The seriousness can still be seen in the because across the nation, legal battles are building over state laws passed in the past two years that impose photo ID requirements, scale back early voting periods and restrict voter-registration efforts. There are other efforts being planned and will be implemented t he closer election day arrives. This is a warning of alarm for minorities and even women, that the right to vote is still an attempt to provide political power minorities and women.
These are changes that threaten the ability of many to vote even legally. What more needs to be said to Blacks and other minorities about their right to vote? There has been a recorded change in the past 6 years. Black voting turnout reached a record 65 percent in 2008, compared with 55 percent in 1988, according to Pew Research study. Driven by Barack Obama’s Presidential campaign, blacks
voted at the same rate as whites for the first time. This has created both a positive image to the power of voting and a threat to those in political power that desire to keep minorities from political and socioeconomic power or even equality.

Denying minorities the opportunity to vote weakens the voting strength of all minorities,
women, the poor, under educated and even those that were incarcerated and served their
sentences are discriminated against. When I think of the first time I voted, I was proud to
get may ballot and cast my vote in the political process. I was just as proud that I could
read the ballot because I valued education to know how important reading and compre-
hension is.

When people ask me if I think everyone should vote, I say, “Yes, I think they should.
But, vote intelligently.” Through the voting process Blacks were liberated physically
from slavery over 150 years ago. The psychological / mental liberation is still occurring
even today.

Too many Blacks are mentally still in slavery with thoughts of low self esteem, self and
cultural destruction, and accepting second class citizenship by not wanting to go back
to school to continue their education. Allowing the media to define their existence and
behaviors that result in continued self destruction.
Voting in November 2012 is just as important now as it was during past generations.
After looking at this video how can you NOT get out and register to vote, how can you
NOT honor the men and women that sacrificed their lives to earn the right to vote for
you and your children. The effort for equality and equitable treatment is never over,
it is a continuous fight on multiple fronts from education, politics, economics and
human rights. The first place to start is your vote.

Children Dangerously Flirting Online

Photo Credit: Anthony Thomas
Children Dangerously Flirting Online
The access to online sites that promote innocent Flirting is drawing attention by law enforcement because of the growing incidents of rapes on minor boys and girls. This is scary as a parent and elementary school teacher with over 20 yrs at the elementary level and even in higher education. Presenting at workshops and seminars
to teach youth and teens about their online content and the dangers of making unseen friendships. Social Media sites entice and encourage young girls and boys to flirt, but it is being found that older men are enticing young girls and even boys to meet face to face with dangerous results.

News Reports
News reports from sources as Huffington Post, NY Times, and CNN have shown a dangerous trend with online contact with older men and minor young teen girls. Flirting is seen as innocent and playful; high school girls and boys flirt, even elementary school age kids experimenting with who they like. This ”greenness”
form of flirting is perceived as cute and harmless in most cases. Skating the edges of emotional connectivity to see if there is a potential for a relationship either as friends or a more serious relationship. The Internet has created a dangerous opportunity for sexual encounters for girls and even boys.

Parental Awareness
Parents need to be aware and involved in their children’s Internet activities. The seriousness of this can be seen from NY Times reports that show this is not an isolated incident of rapes, but a growing national concern. The challenge is that technology has allowed an open and unregulated connection that parents must be concerned. Unfortunately pedophiles, stalkers and child molesters visit SM sites and pretend to be youth and teens. They study the conversations, styles, words, slang and the best times to be online to make contact. Teens also will lie about their ages to gain access to adult sites. Even though there are dangers, teens discount the dangers for the chance to act as adults and engage in adult wordplay and sometimes behaviors.

Parents Check Phone Records
Cell phone apps are being used to interact online and parents are hesitant to check their child’s phones. Too many parents are either scared to monitor their child’s phone records for fear of the child’s reaction or work to be their child’s friend instead of parent. Just as Facebook is researching lowering the age for
allowing younger members access, there are thousands of minors already using Facebook because they lied about their ages. As an elementary school teacher I talk to students at my school and their conversations are adultin nature, discussing their online activities, parents have no clue. These results could eventually be dangerous as seen from information that has shown by sexual assaults against girls and boys. Parents need to make sure that even if they allow their minor children or teens to access sites that promote social contact that their children understand not to post their address, phone numbers, or other personal information that can be used online to find them. When kids are adamant about not allowing parents to look at their phones or online content then that could be an indication they are hiding something.

The recent case of a 12year old California girl that disappeared, the police had to check the girl’s cell phone records and found that she met someone through a mobile app. Fortunately the girl was later found at the home of a 24 year old man who said he had alleged sex with the underage girl.

Parental Ignorance is Dangerous
Parents should understand that information online never goes away, it is archived and stored somewhere and can be found later. This makes it easier and deadlier for stalkers and pedophiles to find and potentially threaten children and teens. Vint Cerf, considered one of the “Fathers of the Internet” stated, “The Internet is a reflection of our society and that mirror is going to be reflecting what we see.” Protecting children takes more than laws it takes parental participation.

Conclusion

An Austin, Texas women whose niece was abducted and used for prostitution shows the violence children maybe exposed too. Parents are missing the warning signs and children are exposed to content that has long term psychological and emotional damage. Kids are being kidnapped, raped, forced to work as prostitutes, both male and female. Interaction on Facebook and other social media sites has grown dangerous for youth and tees. The tragic events of the Austin, Texas girl are a prime example. Austin, Texas 12-year-old lured into sex trade through Facebook invite, if parents do not enforce or reinforce safety on the Internet for their minor children this will continue to happen.

Prevention and education are the keys, statements like, “I had no clue this was even going on, I thought it was a third world country situation.” Parents if you have not done so talk to your children, don’t wait until a tragic event.

Social Media Workshops
Social Media / Social Network workshops are available; parents must participate and be involved. Churches and other organizations that work with children need to educatetheir youth, tweens and teens of Social Media and Social Network dangers and safety.

William Jackson, M.Edu.
My Quest To Teach
http://myquesttoteach.wordpress.com

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When does a boy become a man?

When does a boy become a man?
When does a boy become a man?

When does a boy become a man?

“A Simba Perspective”

By Qaadir Morris

Have you ever seen the Lion King? As a child my brother loved to watch that movie and he would watch it over and over again. I loved the way that the character of Simba evolved. He went from a curious cub, to easy going teen, to finally the Lion King. That’s pretty cool if I must say so myself, but before Simba could become the Lion King he had to go through a lot of hardships. If you recall the story you can recall that Scar implanted the seed of guilt in the mind of Simba, causing Simba to believe that he was the reason for the death of Mufassa. He was supposed to never return. He was supposed to be killed by the hyenas. He was supposed to disappear so that Scar could rule the land and finally become the all mighty king. Scar wanted to be the man or I guess in this case”the lion”.   As I recall the movie Lion King it led me to ask the question: When does a boy become a man? Thanks Simba for the motivation.

Initially Simba wanted to be king for selfish reasons. He didn’t care about being just and being strong for his people, he cared about being able to do whatever he wanted without restrictions. So many of us young men share ties to the character. We all crave power, yet we know not what to do with it once we obtain it. We crave the ability to do what we want and to be on top of people that we tend to forget about the other million or so people in the world. If you can recall the lead song from the movie Lion King “I just can’t wait to be king” Simba never talked about being diplomatic. He talked about being the “man”. Simba’s idea of being the man is comparable to what a lot of us in the real world think make us men. We think that our position in life determines our manhood, and that men are defined by their ability to be strong and their ability to conquer.

Sometimes in life we as young men must be humbled by our situation to appreciate our potential destination. In the movie Lion King Simba ran away as Scar instructed. He found two partners in a meerkat and a warthog. Timon and Pumba could be the grown men who race off into obscurity to escape the pressures of the real world. These two created a pseudo reality for themselves. I think a lot of us in the real world tend to subliminally internalize the phrase “Akuna Matata”. As the song says “it means no worries for the rest of your days. It’s our problem free philosophy. It’s simply Akuna Matata. How many people do you know who act as if they don’t have a care for the world? They could care less about being responsible. They could care less about being anything. They just wake up everyday to the same routine. “Chillin”. In the movie Timon, Pumba, and Simba just chilled. Constant coolin as they ate bugs, looked at the stars, sung songs and lived everyday on cloud nine. Simba at that point of the story didn’t even think about his past. Why go back to that when you can just chill and live an average life with no worries. To bring it back home so many people would rather chill and let their true potential lay dormant. Why strive to be great when you can live a care free life where responsibility does not exist. Why not embrace “Akuna Matata.”

Sometimes we as young men need wake up calls. In the movie Lion King, Nala was Simba’s wake up call. A dose of reality to awaken him from his slumber was all that the young Simba needed. Nala knew the true potential that lay in Simba. She knew the lineage that he came from, yet Simba still tried to run far from his destiny. How many people do you know that have all the potential in the world to do something productive, yet even through all your motivational tactics they still can’t see the bigger picture? I know so many people who could have been, who should have been, or would have been if they only would have awaken from their sleep. You can walk around all day in the land of the living and still be sleeping. Simba was sleeping, as a lot of my peers, and some of yours are. Rafiki showed SImba what he needed to see. It wasn’t Mufassa that he showed him, but it was himself. To bring it back home until you look deep down in yourself you can never fully become a man.

In order to become a man or in Simba’s case a Lion one must accept who you are. You have to embrace that ideal, and not run away from it. The more you continue to run the more you continue to stay in limbo. Simba after accepting who he is went back to Pride Rock. He faced his demons, and though he may have been nervous he did what he had to do. Once we as young men face our fears, and stand firm in our belief that we can succeed the sky at that point is the limit. By facing Scar and proving to himself that he really was worthy Simba became what he was destined to be; “The Lion King”

The story of the Lion King I feel applies to real life. I believe that to a certain degree we as boys share some of the same characteristics of a young Simba. We are trying to find our niche. We are experimenting. We can be pompous at times, and we seldom listen to the advice of others. It’s sad to think that until we are faced with a situation we then truly begin to open our eyes and see the bigger picture. In the case of Simba he lost his father, but luckily he was able to get back on track. The journey they say is more rewarding than getting to the destination, to overcome and to persevere is a great strength that lies in each and every one of us. As a writer I know that I am still evolving, and as a young man I know that I still have room for growth. I know that there will be trials and tribulations, and I know that how I handle them will determine how far I can go, so with that being said I conclude by quoting the infamous song that was mentioned a little earlier; “OH I JUST CANT WAIT TO BE KING”.

Qaadir Morris

You Are Not an Animal: Black Men Reclaim Your Dignity

Photo Credit: Jaguda.com
You Are Not an Animal: Black Men Reclaim Your Dignity

A bizarre and controversial commentary that makes you think, react and say, “Is that possible?” It begins with a shocking premise and culminates in an unusual twist that you have to read to believe. As a show of solidarity, I dedicate this commentary to President Barack Obama, and the most enigmatic entertainer to grace the universe, the unconquerable. Michael Jackson!

by Peggy Butler

Prelude: Since 1989, much attention has been devoted to the status of Black men and their “inevitable demise.” But regardless of what western civilization thinks, Black America continues its tradition of giving props to these courageous warriors. So, to Black men from Alabama to Wyoming, this editorial is dedicated to you.

Picture this scenario: A colossal public housing project embodying 26 buildings, 4210 apartments and 15,000 tenants, stands unnoticed in a low-income residential district surrounded by garbage and overgrown shrubs. Entering the high-rise pigsty—you’re overwhelmed by the stench of urine and cheap wine emanating from the stairwells.

Turning a corner, you walk gingerly amid broken glass and used condoms littering the corridors. Nauseated and disgusted more surprises are in store. As you head for the exit, you pass an abandoned apartment and watch as a middle-age man jabs a syringe into his arm, trying vainly to escape reality. Forging ahead, you watch as gangs fight over neighborhood turf.

As you head for the exit, your feet graze the neighborhood drunks. Asleep in the doorway, unaware of their surroundings and too inebriated to care, they sleep soundly. Welcome to the year 2289. Common sights like the ones above are observed in the congested buildings of Chicago, the dilapidated projects of New York and the multi-complexes of Los Angeles.

It is now 278 years into the future and Black men have replaced animals in laboratory experiments. Having heard in the 20th century that African-American men were moving toward extinction, it came to fruition. Now at the mercy of ruthless scientists, many struggle to reclaim their dignity, as they try to piece together how they came to exist in this state of upheaval.

The massive public housing project, home to 10,000 Black men also doubles as a laboratory. Ninety-five years ago, 50 percent of America’s Black men, unable to cope with social discontent began wondering if there was a conspiracy against them. Thus, began their journey of mass destruction.

On June 29, 2089, a group of young Black men visited the Saravaela Laboratory in Laugford, Ohio. There, using an assortment of codes, they asked scientists to formulate an experiment using them as guinea pigs to determine the validity of the conspiracy theory. A call went out for volunteers, and millions of men permitted themselves to become human fodder. At first they were treated like any other lab animal, but as the months passed, they were subjected to inhumane cruelty.

Rebelling against their plight, a few managed to escape, but for every Black male that escaped, there were thousands more to take their place. Defenseless, his dignity gone, and his pride abandoned; the Black man struggled to free himself from his captors.

Staring through the small cubicle he called home, he wondered how he reached this point-in-time. Maybe it began in December 1989 when the conspiracy theory was first broached. Or maybe it began when Black men started judging themselves by White standards; and gave in to the misconception that they were “lazy, sex-crazed, drug-addicted thugs prone to violence.” But it did begin somewhere—and it ended in imprisonment, and the end of the race as we once knew it!

Stop! Brothers, what I have written up until now, was my pessimistic side, expressing my inner most thoughts. Now it’s time to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of the media and people in general underestimating African-American men. Similarly, I’ve grown leery of White females averting their eyes and clutching their purses in the presence of these men. Moreover, I’m tired of the media explaining in vivid details, the Black man’s demise.

Stop putting all Black men in the same category. Only a small percentage are using drugs and committing crimes. The rest are trying to do their absolute best, thus seeking the pursuit of happiness just like everyone else. By the way, there are thousands of educated and productive Black men climbing the ladder of success. ISN’T THAT PROOF THAT THEY CAN DO MORE THAN SING, DANCE, PLAY SPORTS AND CREATE BABIES?

Black men are not asking anyone for anything. All they’re saying is stop labeling, stop criticizing, stop analyzing. They are not objects to be probed, prodded and petted at will. They are in fact human. See them. Touch them. Feel them. Examine their motives. They are men subject to the same mistakes and temptations as the rest of us high polluting hybrids.

So stop speaking of them as if they were a piece of cheese or a morsel of dust. Stop having programs and panel discussions featuring Black men as the main attraction, and stop saying what a contemptible specimen they are; because we aren’t buying it.

Black men are not animals. They are men. And at this moment they are reclaiming their dignity. Hate it, dismiss it, whatever. The Black man’s motto in the 21st century is “I’m going to keep on flickin until I’m through tickin.” Hence, forget that extinct mumbo jumbo. Peace!

Peggy Butler is a freelance writer based in North Central Florida. She has written for various magazines and Internet publications including Africana.com. and TimBook Tu. Moreover, Butler who lists collecting 60s memorabilia among her hobbies; writes news, features, sports and entertainment articles, as well as commentaries and humor pieces.
Visit her website at peggysbutler.com or track her at Twitter.com/peggybutler647.

The N -Word in Black and White

The N -Word in Black and White

Why would anyone of any race, including Blacks, utter a word that has brought pain and humiliation to millions of African-Americans?

A Black writer talks candidly about the N-word. WARNING: If you freak out at the sound of all things controversial, reading this article could seriously damage your analytical expertise, so proceed with caution.

By Peggy Butler

When dealing with highly controversial issues, we often allow our emotions to over shadow our mind-set. Thus, the use of the N- word, has resulted in a three-ring circus, regarding which races are prohibited from saying it, and which groups can utilize this racial slur without fear of reprehension.
This observation came to life three weeks ago, while having lunch at a local fast food restaurant that shall remain anonymous. As I recall, I was enjoying a delicious salad, when I overheard a conversation between two Black females who appeared to be in their early 20s. They were talking about who was more attractive, Usher or Will Smith. One woman said that Usher was so good looking it hurt. To which her friend nonchalantly mumbled “Ni..er Please,” as they burst into laughter and gave each other high fives.

Listening to their conversation, I couldn’t help but wonder what would have occurred, if a person of European origin had uttered the N- word. No doubt, harsh words would have been exchanged, blows thrown and a few nerves rattled. Case in point: Comedian Michael Richards’ racist tirade against two Black men who allegedly heckled him during his act at a Los Angeles comedy club in November 2006. Can anyone say catastrophe with a triple C?

For years, society has pondered the age old question of why it is perfectly acceptable for African-Americans to call each other Ni..er, but unacceptable for Caucasians to call, or even think of calling us that derogative term, detested by Blacks of all cultures and socioeconomic status.

Blacks contend that the reason it is perfectly harmless for them to call each other Ni..er, is because it is said in a playful gesture, as opposed to the sadistic tone conveyed by non-Blacks. And while Blacks maintain that calling each other the N – word is perfectly natural, there are millions who vehemently disagree. They maintain Blacks should have enough love and respect for each other to stay as far away from the word as possible.

A glaring example of this controversy took place in 2010, when researchers at The Galvanic Institute of Sociology interviewed 400 men and 600 women, ages 16 to 80, to determine their thoughts regarding the N word. When asked if they would be offended if they were called Ni..er by another African-American, 86% of the respondents said no, with 14% saying they would be offended. However, when asked if they would be offended if a White person did the same thing, a whopping 98% said they would respond negatively. Surprisingly, 2% said that being called a Ni..er by Whites had no effect on their morale or self-confidence.

The poll further noted that college educated Blacks found the term less offensive than Blacks with 11 years or less of education. Experts contend, the former represents those African-Americans who view themselves as color- blind and are oblivious of bigotry. Theoretically, they fall under the same category as others who adhere to this bogus concept, like conservative columnist Armstrong Williams and Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Ah, isn’t denial awesome?

And speaking of negative words, it has been noted with much dismay, that if you want to make a timid individual or religious fanatic angry, have a person of European origin, walk up to them and shout “Hey Ni..er.” They argue the shy introvert will raise enough hell to wake the dead, and the bible-toting-Jesus-spouting-holier-than thou church goer will “lay a cursing” on you that will leave you speechless.

Ni..er Please. How many times have you said that to your spouse, friends, co-workers, even your children? And when you said it, did you stop and think why you said it? For one moment did you think about the hurt and embarrassment this word has brought to millions of African-Americans? Moreover, how you would feel if the person calling you that dreaded word was White, instead of Black?

To reiterate, it’s ironic, isn’t it? We laugh when calling each other Ni..er, but clinch our teeth and bring out the fangs when called that by Caucasians. Is there really a difference? Or do we feel less vulnerable when we are put down by each other, instead of those other folks?

Peggy Butler is a freelance writer based in North Central Florida. She has written for various magazines and Internet publications including Africana.com. and TimBook Tu. Moreover, Butler who lists collecting 60s memorabilia among her hobbies; writes news, features, sports and entertainment articles, as well as commentaries and humor pieces.
Visit her website at peggysbutler.com or track her at Twitter.com/peggybutler647.

Sister Love/Sister Pain

Sister Love/Sister Pain

By: The Poetess–Vivian Dixon Sober aka The Ms. V

Love is not red—deceiving indeed, circumstances in place—solid as a rock—love can slip in and dismantle a complete heart
When love happens unpredictably, it throws mind control off
Can’t do nothing but flip your mind a thousand times trying to re-invent the fairy tale scene that seemed like a dream
He entered my heart when it was in lockdown and I didn’t even know
I have no mind control—emotionally—I’m a wreck
I can’t catch a thought
Heart, dear heart, please release me
How did I fall in love
I thought I was in love with my husband—I knowI know
I’m married and lonely and that’s a hard thing to be
Instead of looking at me he’s looking at pornography
I can’t compete
That is out of my league
I’m a woman—and I’m going to continue to be
I got involved with another man—a friend who listens to me—he is deep—concerned
I’m in a war—an emotional war—I didn’t realize the need he filled—I’m in love with another’s man
Now I can understand what I never could before those songs about married people creeping
struggling with love: Me and Mrs. Jones, Secret Lovers, If Only For One Night
songs such as those
doesn’t make it right
“If you can’t keep your man, I can,”the new love says on demand
I can’t say that; it just happened; I can’t explain it
I wasn’t looking for love especially forbidden love

I have morals—what’s up with me—I’m recognizing other parts of me that aren’t very sweet and the problem is: Do I care?
Thoughts streaming through my mind
Is the issue really about a Queen who can’t keep her husband or her man or is it about a sister who just thinks she can’t
I’m a thinker—a contemplator
I can’t elevate myself above his wife as being better than she, his Queen
Sister Love/Sister Pain is killing me
I wish love were red then I could change the color and feel no pain
a heart full of love overflows with emotions—stomach hurts—can’t eat
can’t sleep—weight falling off because I want to be with him
Love is not red mind inundated with him if I see him I will get well
I saw his feelings for me in his eyes; he stared at me too long if I were a magnet and he a
piece of steel l’d be in his bed disrespecting myself and his wife that’s not what I want in my life—I love him—I truly do
This is not cool; I’m not a fool
I have examined the stained picture I see people acting emotionally violating vows made
before God: “If she can’t keep her man, I can”
Everything done in the dark will be revealed and how will the Sister he belongs to feel
I have a man and a license to make love to him, but when love crept in my heart my battle was to stay sane not have sex with no feelings there was nothing for me to gain
Along the road of life I fell in love twice
I love my Sister’s man
My heart aches—anguish—pure blue
Can’t obey and cause her pain
He belongs to another; She will not pain because of foolishness
I know the pain of women who do not think
Sister he is yours I will move on
I will not be intimate with him as that will cause pain
Love is not red: it is blue and rides a roller coaster of emotions
I am no better than you, Sister, as you are his Queen
and much more important than me
I can see
It’s not about a color scheme or age difference
A woman is a woman with a heart that can bleed
I just want something exciting and new and that will end if I hurt you
Life happens; the love is stained with too many faces this is no game
I can’t play—I love a man—he loves me too but sister love stands above
My sister will not shed one tear or lose weight or sleep because I’m in love with her man and can’t control myself
He will be with me today—if I want it that way—love has nothing to do with hurting you
The pain will be all mine I will be used and your husband, your man will return to you and despise me
Now I know the makings of affairs; things ain’t right at home husbands and wives lose sight mundane love lives nothing exotic anymore so they find what they need it doesn’t make it right but, hey, stop telling your wife to go fly a kite
Women boast about sleeping with another’s husband–if he were your husband would
you boast or cry and lose weight in time:
I saw his feelings for me in his eyes: he stared at me too long
If I were a magnet and he a piece of steel l’d be in his bed disrespecting myself and his wife that’s not what I want in my life—I love him—I truly do
This is not cool—I’m not a fool
This is a fight I don’t want to win: I just can’t do it though I want to
I feel like I’m being driven; I’ve been on the other side—I cried and I cried
Sister love conquers devastating affairs: I’m not his wife my love must die
Although I am suffering my Sister is living how am I going to build happiness on some one else’s pain: “if she can’t keep her man, I can.” evaluating myself over his queen
What makes me think I am better than she?
Real love is not about taking
a Sister’s man—even if I can what can he do without me I have nothing his wife doesn’t have. I’ll live in her shoes tomorrow “if she can’t keep her man I can.”
My home girl called me a fool—really—and she’s cool
Well let’s take a look at her; she and Mr. Jones
Bi-polar you riding too high living a life based on lies “if she can’t keep her man, you can.” ‘til you see the light you fell from your pony when he left you for his wife
your mind—psychotic—your stomach in knots—can’t sleep—eat
Your weights falling off can’t accept the fact that you were used and thoroughly confused
Bi-polar you thought you could build happiness on someone else’s heartache
Where are your friends? You are caught in your own web so sleep in your bed
You didn’t think about your Sister: you thought about you—the pain is great—overwhelming—too deep—steep
He crept and you wept, “if she can’t keep her man, you can.”
Your tormented mind told you lies; I just can’t
The next time tainted love knocks on your heart’s door
stop, drop, and roll smother the fire before it consumes you
Tainted love is nothing sweet; it’s not a treat send that man home
where he belongs before you are used like a junk-yard dog
the choice is yours: but I’m stupid
Cupid’s so-called arrows often strike the living dead: I am thrilled just to know
that I can love and love deeply: being married and lonely is dangerous
Husbands wake up; Wives, wake up
Sister Love/Sister Pain is killing Me
No affairs
Husbands who ignore
Curb gear for the garbage man

 

Vivian Dixon Sober©2003
All Rights Reserved