“Words are things. You must be careful. Careful about calling people out of their names, using racial pejoratives and sexual pejoratives and all that ignorance. Don’t do that. Some day we’ll be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. I think they get on the walls. They get in your wall paper. They get in your rugs; in your upholstery. In your clothes and finally into you.” Three years ago Dr. Maya Angelou shared this insightful perspective on the power of words during an Oprah Masterclass.
The part about how words get into you has always stayed with me. Words and images carve imprints into our minds as to who we perceive ourselves to be, while shaping our identity. This is why when certain images, words or phrases are used for descriptive purposes, I become very cautious with accepting them. It also speaks to why after years of being called the N-word, even the most conscious among us can’t let it go. When Maya Angelou worked on an album with the well known rapper Common, he surprised her by using the N-word. She disagreed with it’s usage and Common stated, “She knows that’s part of me.” I’ve always wondered, “What part of you Common? What part of you is ‘nigger’?”
We’ve been called it so often, as if it were our names, at some point we started believing it represents us. I’ve written about this before, where I had to stop a first time father from referring to his newborn son as his, “little nigga.”
But it doesn’t stop with words. Imagery also plays a big role in how we view and address ourselves. For years it was almost impossible to view any realistic imagery of African Americans. Images of caricatures were sold on products around the world with exaggerated features, in positions of servitude, along with hypersexualized or asexualized messages (depending on the caricature). These images were used as a form of messaging to ignore the humanity of an entire subset of society in order to prevent upward mobility, empathy and cross-racial organizing. One of the most well known caricatures is “Mammy.” And years later we find ourselves clamoring to claim this image as something that represents us…when it never did. This is why the nostalgia concerning the Kara Walker Sphinx is so disturbing.
Reclaiming “Mammy” is just as counterproductive as seeking to reclaim “Nigger.” It’s beneath us but we keep trying to do it. Why?
As Dr. Carter G. Woodson in the Mis-Education of the Negro profoundly noted, “When you control a man’s thinking you do not have to worry about his actions. You do not have to tell him not to stand here or go yonder. He will find his ‘proper place’ and will stay in it. You do not need to send him to the back door. He will go without being told. In fact, if there is no back door, he will cut one for his special benefit. His education makes it necessary.”
These negative images and words have become so widespread that most attempts at trying to debunk them have been outnumbered and overshadowed. We’d seen them so much and heard them so much that they’ve seeped into our psyche. Thus, at times we reinforce these images without consciously meaning to do so. In fact, we’ll find ourselves fighting for the right to protect these images and words.
The women that were called ‘Mammy’ had names like Elizabeth, Rebecca, Ann and etc. They were artists, healthcare providers/healers, and organizers of rebellions. These women were humans in totality, many being brilliant pioneers in an awesome Fannie Lou Hamer type of way. Featuring that imagery on a mass level would be groundbreaking. Yet it still hasn’t been done. What would that look like? Imagine the pure awesomeness of that idea and how that idea could help young Black girls discover new possibilities for themselves.
We are more than servitude. Yet so many images surrounding Blacks in history present us in service positions. Thus it is no surprise that in 2012 the Center For American Progress highlighted that 28% of African American women work in service positions and “only 11.9 percent of African American women were in management, business, and financial operations positions. In comparison, women as a whole are employed in these fields at a rate of 41.6 percent.”
Being limited to servitude is systematic but is upheld by the words and imagery that constantly describe Black woman as people who cook, clean and take care of other people. However, even a brief glimpse into history will show that before, during and after slavery, Black women were entrepreneurs, political organizers, pilots, and scientists.
Yet, we’ve been so inundated with negative words and imagery that at times we can’t decipher between truth and fiction/ reality and perception. It’s not just an African American problem. Nobody knows who anybody truly is. And certain people understand this, so they push words and images that stigmatize groups of people causing further confusion and discord.
But even without corporations and politicians benefiting from falsehoods, how you see yourself or think about yourself can mold your life.
After the trauma of being raped, Maya Angelou didn’t speak for years. During this time her grandmother told her, some people may call you dumb but I know that one day you’re going to be a “teacher.”
When she was a young woman, one day Maya Angelou’s mother turned to her and said, “You are the greatest woman I’ve ever met.” It shocked her. She stopped cursing from that day forward, because she thought to herself, “What if she’s right? What if I will be somebody one day?”
The words of her mother and grandmother literally changed how she thought about herself and gave her the tools to see new possibilities. These words made an impact. The words and images surrounding her spoke life into her future despite the challenges she endured.
So think for a moment about what you’ve been told concerning who you are and what you believe about yourself. Examine which words or images have gotten into you. Be very careful of the things you believe about yourself. Reject words and images that don’t contribute to your well being. It can mean the difference between freedom or servitude.
Audre Lorde said it best, “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
Please do not republish this article without specific, written permission from Jessica Ann Mitchell.
Jessica Ann Mitchell is the founder of OurLegaci.com & BlackBloggersConnect.com. To reach JAM, email her at OurLegaci@gmail.com.
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12 thoughts on “Be Careful What You Believe About Yourself”
Awesome read! I’m sharing this with a girl I’m mentoring.
We are products of what we tell ourselves.
Sent from my iPhone
May I repost this on our Sistermoms facebook page?
Linda H. Burke “Live life as though everything is rigged in your favor.”
This is an awesome article. Keep up the good work!
Not trying to compare myself to Maya Angelou, but the same thing happened to me as a child. We loved using the N-word and calling people out of their names etc… One day I got into a fight with a girl in my class and I beat her up. My dad usually would beat me for doing something like that but that time he chose to do something else. He called one of my sisters and used her as the girl I beat up. Then he asked me how I would feel if that happened to her. He said I didn’t beat your butt because you might have to defend your sister from her brother tomorrow. I did not raise you to be a bad boy but Sometimes you have to learn lessons the hard way. Sure enough the next day I had to fight her brother who was bigger than I was and he beat me up…Lesson learned. I stopped using the N-word and stopped swearing too. If it were only that easy for black men these days to learn what respect is.
Have you ever seen the slam poem (through Button Poetry) called “Duality”? Check it out. It’s amazing. 🙂
Glad I stopped by .. your face called out to me .. I was just going to say how beautiful you are .. but then I read about Maya. I have heard her through Braveheart women and Oprah but did not know that she had been victimised before. A terrible trajedy indeed.
Love this! I hit reblog and I’m not sure I can undo it. I was just wanting to share the article. I think it still links back to you. Sorry bout that.
This is a very good read. I believe that political communications is one area in which words are used to portray entire groups as good or evil, contributors or burdens to society, and polarizing and dividing the electorate into us vs them. Words are devisive, damaging, powerful, beautiful, cutting, etc. So yes, we all must be careful of what we spew from our mouths about others and what we accept from others about their characteristics of us as African Americans, as women, etc.
The whole reason that some people use pejorative terms for others is to deny them their humanity, since- as the thinking goes- anything that isn’t human doesn’t have the same rights as a human and doesn’t have to be treated as a human. Thus, trying to appropriate a pejorative term almost always leads to a denial of one’s own humanity.
Words are very powerful. Well said.