The Black community is still plagued by the belief that light skin and straight hair is more beautiful the dark skin and natural hair. Every day members of the black community divide each other based on skin tone. Even family members and friends perceive beauty based on a color scale. This is a serious problem that highlights the self hatred we face everyday.
The new documentary by Bill Duke,”Dark Girls”, examines colorism and how it affects the Black community.
Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.
Our Legaci with J.A.M. Aiwuyor 
Like many little black girls, this mess starts at home, continues in the playground, and goes back home—never to be enlightened—because our mamas have issues with who they are as black women. My mother called me all kinds of names, but you better believe they all began with you black this or that….
What did I believe about me? I married a black man, and we have a beautiful child that I have will always adore.
When she was about seven, I brought her home. A light-skinned girl I went to school with brought her look-a-like child to meet me. My mom went on and on about how pretty that little girl was doting over her complexion and making continuous comparisons between her and my child. I really wanted to lay my hands upon her soul for smacking my daughter with her negative words. Finally, the little girl said to my daughter, “Don’t you wish you were me?”
I don’t know any black women who haven’t been through this, and, then, they, in turn, teach their black children to hate blacks. My black friends called me a racist for making my child play with black dolls. You see, I asked her, which doll was the pretty one. She, too, chose the white doll. I only bought our beauty home. I did not teach her to dislike others. Black people at school made fun of her, and unfortunately, it powerfully affected her. I did my best.
The biggest room in this world is improvement. I want a beautiful heart. I want to treat people with love and respect. I want to continuously grow in positive qualities. However, I’m what you call black dust. There is also white dust, red dust, and yellow dust. No dust is going to define me, but this wasn’t always the case.
I have a good friend. She is a beautiful, light-skin Barbie doll twin. Black men fell all over her, and, of course, I was transparent. I did not feel good about it. I did not want to go any place with her. Through my trials and tribulations, I grew. If a man can only see your complexion, run. You are going to be treated like the trash he was taught. I’m not mad at him. He is reflection of self- hatred.
Today, I am one beautiful black woman—if to nobody but me. I wear locs. Black people have the nerve to tell me to cut my hair. It’s nappy. White folks love it. I only say this to show you the difference. I love my hair, and I don’t care if you hate it. Every time a black person parts his or her lips to speak against my hair, I see a person reflecting self hatred—mostly women. I am a beautiful black woman, but I am not alone. I have generations behind me.
Stop crying beautiful queens. Teach your sons and daughters that a slave is slave, and this is a cycle that we must individually break. Black people are like a stain. We treat each other like nothing, and cry respect all the time. Respect yourself! Respect yourself! Even when your mama says, “You ugly, black, nappy-headed……
And even calls you the N word. I Understand this:
God made me! God made me!
Dear Vivian, it’s like you translated the wrenching of my soul into tangible expression. I can tell that your strength of character is product of your experience and that is a God given blessing. What don’t kill you truly makes you stronger. Our children need to develop a sense of self love from early, lest we leave them to the cruel attacks of this hateful world.
Dark skin is representative of strength and perhaps God in his infinite wisdom uses his selected warriors to represent this hue. Sisters and even brothers do need to stop crying as you said and reclaim their pride. Beautifully and wonderfully made, black ppl need to stop holdin on to that divide and conquer curse
Hi Rudie,
First, thank you for taking the time to respond to my thoughts. This world is black with evil—the wicked destroying the weak. Many things we can’t control. Race is only one of them. The families we are born into are another.
As for our attitudes toward the majority accepted, can we be a part of the solution instead of the problem? There is nothing wrong with being a beautiful whatever God created you. We can’t change diversity. For people who choose to discriminate, it is their prerogative. But We Do Not Have To Hang On To Anyone’s Definition of Us.
There is no denying it. Words Hurt. They linger far longer than a punch, but life is escaping us, and people reap what they sow. I am learning to LET GO!
Often, people who cause pain (predators) sleep well, and, yet, their victims are wide awake in pain.
I’m working hard on becoming physically, emotionally, and mentally strong because survival is the issue.
Please take care of yourself.
Vivian Dixon Sober
Hey Vivian,
my sister was laughing at my hyperbolic response to your post. What can I say? I do get a lil dramatic! Anyway more to the point, you’re blessed and highly favoured. With God’s love you don’t need another’s approval.
Each person comes into this world with a personal battle, unfortunately some choose to put others down to feel valuable but are still unfulfilled.
May God continue to bless you, the beautiful sista that you are.
Hello Rudie,
As the old adage goes, he who laughs last laughs best!
This is it: People laugh.
Life is dramatic. Reality is dramatic. People are dramatic.
Let’s just be Drama Queens.
I enjoyed your response and thank you for it. More importantly, did you read your comment—your mind on paper? You’re intelligent. Look at your words. As for hyperboles, I could drink the sea and walk on its floor—an exaggeration to the highest degree. This is laughable because it’s a bold-face lie and something only the arrogant believe.
You don’t have to fight to be you. You Won!
I thank you for being able to relate to me and for respecting me enough to leave your trace.
I know I am blessed. As for being highly favored—VIP—that’s not my decision to make:Let’s pray that God is fond of both of us.
we are up against a westernized European standard of beauty. One that has been imposed on us for centuries, so yes its hard, i know what you mean. It seems as if women of a darker hue are under represented or invisible in the media. etc. It is also our job to support positive images of us as Black women and not buy products, movies, etc. that show us in a negative light!
It would also help if more of our men would support and acknowledge their women as being beautiful. Other (race) of men uphold their women. but *some our men seem to be telling the world that their women are flawed! I know thats not all of you brothers because alot of you love your women, but its not a negligeable amount.
I don’t see how anyone with half a brain can think “dark skinned” women are unnatractive based on skin tone. The fact that that word exists is an anomoly! think about it. Most Black peopole the world over are indeed darker shades of brown. . I am sorry to hear your mother took out her own self hate on you, an innocent child. I hope that today you know that was an internal issue she had and nothing to do with you. I thank God i never experienced this in my home, ( only a few times in the outside world)Many black women are indeed colorstruck and fixated on skin tone and then we wonder why so Black people have these issues?We come in all hues of course, and thats something that makes us beautiful