Interracial Dating from my African American Stand Point
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Interracial Dating from my African American Stand Point
By Christina Jeter
The stigma attached to interracial dating is the same stigma attached to body size in my opinion and I state this because everyone is an individual and if you find something so unattractive, it is your opinion but it is not your right to tell someone they need to change to benefit you. What are you offering that person for your approval or is it you just can’t achieve what you want and hope this person will provide it for you?
For me I was made aware of the effects of my ancestry because of slavery and the Civil Rights movement. Please know for my generation I am grateful to be born in this time era as I was educated on how family members who were not had to deal with being physically threaten because of their skin tone, hair texture, and genealogy. The stories my grandfather tells me about how whites made him walk across the street because they didn’t want him by their house, how they would have picnics with African American men they would kidnap and murder by hanging them from a tree and then take pictures posing with family members.
My Grandmother’s family on my father side told me stories of how they walk in on white men raping black women and they couldn’t do anything about it, because there was no law prohibiting them from doing so and apparently no conscience as well! (I will always show appreciation for African Americans in the past in and out of my family). In stating this information I want to make aware the hate for African Americans was designed to destroy their culture, lifestyle and existence so they wouldn’t have anything.
Being born in an era where the things of my grandparents, great grandparents, and so forth didn’t affect me as harshly. I always dated someone who I felt cared for me and wanted to add to me not hindered me. Granted I am aware that some African Americans want to date outside their race because they feel they will have a better lifestyle. I question that because when you have children with physical traits that you ran away from or didn’t find attractive, “What will be the answer to your children when they inherent those traits and come home crying because they are teased about being unacceptable, when you yourself didn’t find it attractive?”
I truly do think that everyone has the power to achieve great things in their life and diversity should be celebrated not limited to be made disgusting, especially when that diversity is something in demand. Every race, lifestyle, culture, and nationality has financially contributed to America and with that I hope that we continue to educate ourselves on certain accepts of life to make a formative decision if we want it in our lives or not. The result I would love to see happen is to walk away from something you disprove of and not get intimidated by it.
Christina Jeter
www.linkedin.com/in/christinajeter
www.cjeter.com
6 Responses to Interracial Dating from my African American Stand Point
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Thank you for your honest and open piece on dating.
I find your piece shocking, for the simple reason that most women with a history such as yours seem to be currently live in that past.
They believe that our people are underattack from a foreign power and to be seen with any other ethnicity is some kind of betrayel when unfortuately the opposite is truer. We face more opposition from our own kin than anyone else.
Black women degrade black men and black men degrade black women. The never ending cycle where no one wins except other ethnicities. They get the majority of our focused and exceptional black men and women because we demonize eachother.
I for one love all shades of my African American women and all shades of all the other kind of women as well. Skin color doesn’t matter as much as education, family and values do to me.
Funny how we’re still talking about skin color in 2011. Okay, maybe not so funny.
I just spent quite a few hours doing nothing but browsing the net reading all the comments and post about interracial dating. There is definitely strong opinions, especially when it’s on the subject of black women seeking white men. I think people feel they can post comments and say what they really want to. One thing’s for sure is we got a long way to go in race relations. The amount of ignorance is amazing. But at the same time there is no question that I’m seeing more and more interracial couples out there.
The worst scenario of interracial dating/marriage is when one partner exploits the other. In a perfect world, loves brings us together intimately. So many influences in this world create prejudices when making choices for a partner. There are some grime facts about Blacks and Non-Whites choosing outside their Race.
Please do not assume there is no systematic genocide of Black Males in this country. Media, movie, and television programming still portray the Master in the Slave Quarter mentality. Making Black female and White male parings acceptable, while Black male White female parings virtually off limits. Black males are shown as less desirable and not worth being married to. The careers of White women in film and television being intimate with Black males usually take a downward turn. Black Woman willing to be intimate with White co-stars careers flourish.
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I’m the product of an interracial coupling and my parents are still married some 38 years later! On top of that, I’ve personally dated all different women. I’ve been a bachelor my entire life and have gone out with/spent time with women from every single racial demographic that one can think of. I personally from experience don’t see a whole lot of difference between them. Oh there are issues with each group, and plenty of time the issues come from cultural differences, however even with one who has no cultural difference from you, there are still going to be issues that occur. Part of relationships are issues, in that you are taking two worlds and combining them into one. With that combination there is always going to be conflict of some sort or another.
I think black women should stick to black men and black men stick to black women. Who can relate to a black woman like a black man and vice versa. I think interracial relationships are based on financial stability and physical attraction. In my opinion nothing beats black love. Black men need to be more affectionate and black women need to be more assertive in persuing a black man. In my eyes black women are the sexiest most attractive people on earth and I personally can’t see myself with anyone besides a black woman.